Cafe Catastrophe
by MakaS0ul
Summary: Weiss is in Japan on a business trip. She ends up getting lost and heads into a cafe to gather her bearings, but it's not the kind of cafe she expected. Weiss Schnee is in for some serious culture shock!


Fanfiction decided it wasn't going to let me upload documents, so this is later than it would have been lmao

This story was originally written for my good friend Mab's birthday, and now I'm finally putting it up here as a bonus! This is gonna be some straight up fuckery so hang on! I'm titling this: **Cafe Catastrophe.** This is a Modern AU set in our world, so countries like Japan, Germany, America, and all the others exist. **This whole thing is about miscommunication due to a language barrier, so I hope nobody takes offense to anything. It's supposed to be in good fun! Everyone's lack of understanding is played up for laughs!**

 **Quick note** : Standard non-italicized text in quotes are said in English. Anything " _italicized in quotes like this is said in German."_ And anything **"bolded in quotes like this is said in Japanese."** I know it's confusing, but I had to make a system so all the fuckery makes some semblance of sense lmao. I hope you enjoy~!

* * *

" _Weiss, since we will be in Japan for a few weeks, why don't you take some time to explore the country? You won't have to be present for the meetings this time around."_

Weiss nodded at her father's words, her eyes trailing along the skylines of the city out the window of their jet. She'd been taken along on the trip to Japan, excited for the opportunity to see more of the world outside of Germany. While it was a shame that her mother and siblings couldn't make the trip, she'd be damned if she wouldn't take her father up on his offer and enjoy her time to the fullest.

Jacques often took Weiss on his business trips, in part so she could learn about the inner workings of being the head of the Schnee energy company, but also because he knew how much she enjoyed travel. She'd enjoyed enough time in America and the UK to pick up quite a bit of English during their travels, but she had almost no knowledge of Japanese beyond basic travel vocabulary. "Hello" and "thank you" were the most notable of her knowledge. Still, Jacques knew that she wouldn't be stopped by such an obstacle; Weiss was a quick study after all and she'd surely learn in no time.

The captain of their jet announced that they would be descending and thus it was time to fasten seat belts and turn off electronics. It was only an hour later that the two Schnees were on their way to the hotel, Weiss's eyes still locked on the passing scenery outside.

Big cities were all generally the same, but there were unique features in each one that would distinguish them from the rest, though Weiss had not spotted anything distinct yet; she would likely find it in time. There were plenty of bright signs everywhere, written in a language that neither of them could read. It was like looking at a work of abstract art; you didn't necessarily have to understand it to enjoy its beauty.

" _It's beautiful,"_ Weiss whispered, her breath stolen by the sights around her.

Jacques only smiled from his seat.

* * *

The next day, Jacques had meetings to attend, so he left Weiss to her own devices after enjoying breakfast together. It had been a rather interesting change of pace for both of them to have miso soup, rice, fish, and various vegetables for breakfast. While a more Western-style option had been available, the two had decided to experience everything they could. What would be the point of having a Western-style breakfast that they could have at home?

Weiss had left not long after Jacques, dressing in a white sundress to help her with the notoriously stifling summer heat, and her camera; she had promised her pen pals, Ruby and Yang, that she would send them pictures from her trip. The two had never been to Japan either so they were looking forward to experiencing it second-hand.

Japan, as Weiss had quickly found out, was a beautiful country with a rich culture that went beyond the anime that most people seemed to associate it with. It blended old and new together seamlessly, with ancient temples and shrines existing peacefully beside the skyscrapers.

She wandered around Tokyo, the massive city offering her endless sights, sounds, and smells. There were restaurants and cafes that filled the air with the scent of food, people milling about in conversation she didn't understand, and countless stores whose windows offered her glimpses of the modern Japanese consumer's interests. A day was nowhere near enough for her to explore everything; she simply went wherever her feet took her. There was only one problem.

" _I'm lost,"_ she muttered, her eyes struggling to adjust to the falling darkness that was heavily combated by the neon signs around her. Nothing looked familiar, not that much would, but the fact that she couldn't identify any landmarks was troubling nonetheless.

She had a card with the hotel's address printed on it, but she didn't know how to ask people for directions, let alone how to follow them. Her phone was of no help either; the gps wasn't working due to her being out of service range. They had opted against getting Weiss a specific phone for the occasion, and this was the price she was paying. Instead of finding her way back home, she wandered through the streets, hoping that there would be at least one thing that looked even _remotely_ familiar.

It was an hour after her realization that she got tired from running around all day, exhaustion and jet lag hitting her like a freight train. It seemed though that her luck was turning around; she stood in front of what looked to be a cafe.

" _I'll take a break in here and gather my bearings,"_ she said, more to herself than anyone else. She gripped the handle and entered, the chime of the bell a familiar sound.

" **Welcome back, Mistress!"**

Weiss blinked.

Standing before her were two girls dressed in maid costumes with animal ears and tails. They smiled widely at her, oblivious to her obvious confusion.

" **Right this way, Mistress! Please follow me,"** one of them exclaimed, plucking a menu from the hostess stand and bowing, her hands gesturing towards what could be assumed was the dining area.

" _Wait, no. I-I don't want to–"_

" **Right this way, Mistress! Please don't be shy,"** the dog-eared maid insisted, gesturing again towards the dining area.

" **She's right, Mistress! There's no need to feel reserved! Please come in,"** the other rabbit-eared maid said, a wide smile on her face. If Weiss hadn't known any better, she would have thought that the both of them thought her discomfort was funny.

"I-I don't want to be here," Weiss stammered, trying to reach them in English this time. What the hell was this place? She wasn't getting a word of what they were saying, but she could tell this place was something that normal people didn't frequent.

The maids exchanged a look. "'I don't want–' **What did she say?"** the rabbit-eared one asked, leaning over to her fellow maid.

The dog-eared maid shrugged. **"I don't know. You know I can't speak English, Saki."**

" **I can't either!"**

" **You know more than me!"**

The two shared an exasperated look, glancing back to Weiss who had receded towards the door.

" **Maybe Blake could talk to her. She knows more English than both of us combined,"** the rabbit-eared one said, her face lighting up.

" **Great idea, Saki! Her dad's a foreigner, right? She probably knows how to talk to this girl,"** the dog-eared one said with an equally bright grin.

All at once, both pairs of eyes were on Weiss, and she wanted nothing more than to leave, but something akin to mortification kept her firmly rooted in place. She wasn't sure she liked the energy that renewed during their conversation.

"Here! Come here," one of the maids said, her words warbled by her thick accent.

"I don't want to be here," Weiss said, trying again more slowly this time and shaking her head. Clearly they hadn't gotten the message.

This was hell. That was the only explanation for this bizarre situation; Weiss had died and descended into hell at some point without noticing.

"Please come," they insisted, gesturing pointedly to the dining area. Their eyes conveyed that they would not simply let Weiss leave, language barrier or not.

She could tell that whatever she said would not get through to them, so she sighed and reluctantly followed them, eyes wide as she took in the little cafe.

The decor was what one could typically expect from a cafe, wooden tables and chairs stained a warm caramel color, though the major difference was all of the animal related items around; things from pictures of animals, to napkins with paw prints on them, to animal-themed seats.

There were few patrons in the dining area, though given the time of night, that much was to be expected. Still, Weiss had to give credit to all of the maids working; they looked fairly happy given the ridiculous outfits they were wearing and the rather… enthusiastic clientele. She wouldn't have lasted five minutes if she were in their position.

They sat Weiss down at a table near the windows lining the front, which happened to reflect the faces of the other patrons staring at her; her white hair stood out, but it was hardly reason enough to stare at her like a tourist at the local zoo.

"Please wait," the dog-eared maid said, handing her a menu and dashing off with the rabbit-eared maid hot on her heels.

Weiss simply sat there, keeping her jaw firmly shut despite her desire to let it hang open. She just wanted to get back to her hotel. Why was that so difficult?

" _I want to go home,"_ she muttered, opening the menu as she did so. She couldn't even read the thing, so she could only sit there and _pretend_ like she could so she didn't look like a _complete_ fool.

It was only a moment later when she heard a new voice.

"Is everything alright, Mistress?"

Weiss glanced up from her menu, only for her jaw to escape her control and drop like a rock in the ocean.

The girl standing before her had jet-black hair, much like the majority of the population of Japan, but her hair seemed to shine in the light rather than absorb it. She wore the same uniform as the other maids, but she had black cat ears and a tail, which suited her alarmingly well. As if that wasn't enough, the girl also had the gall to be slender, with beautiful legs that peeked out from the uniform-standard thigh-high stockings. Even _worse_ than that, she had the most beautiful amber eyes that sparkled with… something Weiss couldn't place. They had to be contacts; there was no way they were her real color.

" _Shit,"_ she blurted without thinking.

The girl tilted her head, smirking at Weiss in a way that made her think that the girl had understood _exactly_ what she had meant by her slip of the tongue. "Is something wrong, Mistress?" she tried again.

"I– you– you speak English?" Weiss couldn't contain her surprise. Though English was taught in Japan, most people would not consider themselves fluent. Thus, to find someone who didn't even have a _hint_ of an accent was unbelievably lucky. She might _actually_ be able to get back to her hotel.

The girl chuckled. "I do. My father is of Italian descent, though the rest of my family has lived all over the world. Due to our diverse heritage, English was naturally something I learned."

Weiss all but collapsed in relief, holding herself together by a thread of dignity. "Thank god. I got lost and when I finally find a place to rest my legs I'm dragged into a cafe by two girls who won't take 'no' for an answer. What is this place?"

"It sounds like you've had a rough time. This is an animal maid cafe," the amber-eyed girl said with a laugh.

Weiss blinked. " _Excuse me_?"

"An animal maid cafe."

She blinked again. "I understand each of those words individually. What is an animal maid cafe?" Her patience had been worn thin by the circumstances and it was all she could do to keep her frustration in check.

"Exactly what it sounds like. We operate like a regular maid cafe, but with an animal twist. It adds a bit of individuality to the place." The girl smiled softly at Weiss's obvious confusion. "Have you ever been to a maid cafe before?"

Weiss resisted the urge to audibly gulp at the other girl's smile. How dare she be this attractive?

" _Shit,"_ she blurted again, clapping a hand over her mouth.

She took a slow, steady breath as she tried to remember how normal people held conversations with incredibly attractive people. She tried again. "No, never." Good, that was better. She made less of a fool of herself that time.

"I guessed as much," the taller girl said, her charming smile only growing. "The workers here all act like maids, referring to our guests as 'master' or 'mistress.' We offer special services like doing a spell to make the food delicious, taking pictures with our guests, or playing games with them. Do you follow me so far?"

Not in the least. The girl had been speaking English, but she might as well have been speaking Japanese for all Weiss understood. She had never heard of such a bizarre cafe, let alone one offering such strange services. Was this simply a culture gap?

"…Yes…" Weiss knew she sounded unconvincing, but she didn't believe that any amount of explanation would truly help her understand what the hell was going on.

The other girl laughed, bringing a hand up to stifle it a second later. "I know it's unusual, but it's fairly common in Tokyo and several other cities across Japan. It's just like a regular cafe with a twist."

Was it though? Was it truly a _regular cafe_ with a _twist_? Weiss nearly laughed at the statement, but thought better of it; it wouldn't be smart to be rude to the person who could very well lead her back to her hotel, not to mention the fact that she didn't want to be rude to someone who she was terribly attracted to, but that was another matter.

"Right… Anyway, I was hoping that you could help me find my way back to my hotel…?" The other girl had a nametag, but it was written in Japanese, so the girl might as well have not been wearing one for all the good it did Weiss.

"Blake. Blake Belladonna. I'd be happy to…?" Blake looked at Weiss expectantly, that same alluring shimmer back in her eyes.

"Weiss."

She could have sworn Blake's eyes _sparkled_ then. "My shift ends in ten minutes. Can you wait until then?"

" _I could wait for you forever,"_ Weiss blurted again. What was _wrong_ with her this evening? She had no control over herself whatsoever, acting as desperate (and thirsty) as a woman who had been stuck in a desert for months.

She coughed and tried again, forcing the blush that was making its way up to her ears down. "Yes, that's fine. Thank you."

Blake bowed slightly, smirk never leaving her lips. "Great. Just wait a few moments please."

She leaned down to whisper in Weiss's ear then. " _Don't worry. You won't have to wait forever."_

She returned to the kitchen before she could see Weiss's face practically burst into flames.

She prayed to whoever was listening that she would be struck down right there and put out of her misery, but of course life was not that kind. She was left to wallow in her own embarrassment until the end of Blake's shift.

Ten minutes later, Blake reappeared, dressed in her street clothes which were criminally attractive on her, shorts that exposed the majority of her pale legs being a particular highlight.

"See? I told you that you wouldn't have to wait forever."

Seriously, if somebody came and stabbed Weiss and left her to die at this very moment, she would have thanked them profusely.

Blake grabbed her hand then, effectively putting the brakes on any thoughts Weiss had. "Shall we go?"

Weiss handed over the card, taking a great interest in anything but Blake and pointedly ignoring the heat in her cheeks.

With a nod, the taller girl pulled Weiss by the hand down the neon-lit streets of Tokyo. Due in no part to the summer heat, Weiss felt like she was burning, wondering if Blake was feeling the same.

Several minutes later –and far sooner than Weiss would have liked– they arrived at the front of Weiss's hotel, though Blake had yet to let go of Weiss's hand.

"How long will you be in Japan?" she asked softly, running her thumb over Weiss's knuckles.

It was terribly distracting, but Weiss pushed through the fog that had blanketed her thoughts. "Three weeks."

Blake hummed. "Well… my vacation starts two days from now. Would you like to have a dedicated tour guide for your trip? I know all the best places to go, the best foods to eat, and the best spots for a date."

Weiss felt her blush reach the tips of her ears. "I would like that," she nearly whispered.

Blake beamed, pulling out her phone and exchanging contact information. "I'll see you in two days then. You won't have to wait forever," she said with a smirk.

Weiss could only groan, before she pulled Blake in for a chaste kiss on her cheek and marching toward the hotel doors.

The blush that had covered Blake's cheeks was victory enough for Weiss.

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 **Hope y'all enjoyed! Until next time~!**


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